Tax time approaches, and there is often little to smile about. But if you’re a whaling captain or an accused criminal, and you’re looking for some last minute deductions, you’re in luck! From TurboTax:

Whale Tale: You can claim up to $10,000 for repairs to your whaling ship. The catch is you must be a Native American!

Orthodontic clarinets? A 1962 ruling said that clarinets were helpful in correcting a child’s overbite. So, if you have a prescription clarinet, claim that sucker as a medical expense!

The Dog Paddle Deduction: I have a brother-in-law with a bum knee who has been told by his therapist to swim every day. If that’s you, you could claim your swimming pool as a deduction!

Butts for Bucks: The various tools, tricks and prescriptions for kicking the smoking habit are often deductible.

Volunteer for the Wrong Reasons! If you have to hire a babysitter when you do volunteer work, that’s deductible!

Deductible Defense: Crime doesn’t pay, but sometimes your legal defense is deductible!

Bow-wow Bonus! The cost of a guard dog may be deductible from your taxes. Enough to offset your higher homeowner’s insurance premium? Probably not!!

There are more goofy deductions here. Have you heard of any other weird deductions? And aren’t you glad our tax code is so delightfully simple?